Ubuntu: encouragement accountability and grace

Twenty-Second Sunday After Pentecost ● October 29, 2023

Readings: 1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14-15 and
Galatians 5:13-15, 25-26, 6:1-5, 9-10 (Adapted from NRSV)

Rev. Jeff Wells © 2023

You can view the full worship video recording at:
https://youtu.be/5rw6gbzGTZo

Our current worship series is titled, “Ubuntu: The Art of Living Together.” I hope you are all enjoying it as much as I am. This week, I came across a description of ubuntu from Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa. Tutu died in 2021 and was one of the outstanding faith leaders and social activists of the last 100 years. His words capture the meaning of ubuntu in ways that resonate for followers of Jesus. Listen carefully and you will hear echoes of the Bible passages Martha just read for us. Tutu wrote, “Africans have a thing called ubuntu. It is about the essence of being human. It is part of the gift that Africa will give the world. It embraces hospitality, caring about others, being willing to go the extra mile for the sake of another. We believe that a person is a person through other persons, that my humanity is caught up, bound up, inextricably, with yours. When I dehumanize you, I inexorably dehumanize myself. The solitary human being is a contradiction in terms. Therefore, you seek to work for the common good because your humanity comes into its own in community, in belonging.”

To me, that sounds like a mission statement for the Church of the Village. Sadly, those of us in the U.S. live in a society that is strongly shaped by a harmful culture of individualism and self-centeredness that runs counter to the values of ubuntu and the values Jesus proclaimed. This, among several factors, has led to an increasing decline in participation in religious communities and other social organizations in the U.S. Along with that, we have seen social isolation and consequent loneliness dramatically increase. Many Americans think they should be able, on their own, to handle their problems, overcome their shortcomings, and grow to be better persons. But the truth is we need each other to accomplish those things. We need community.

In April, May, and June of this year, New York Times opinion writer, Jessica Grose, wrote a five-part series on Americans moving away from religion. She interviewed numerous sociologists and asked each one whether communities created around secular activities – outside of houses of worship – could provide the level of support that churches, temples, and mosques offer. The nearly universal answer was, “No.”

We need the kind of community we experience in the Church of the Village – not only to overcome loneliness and feel a sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves, but also because we are necessarily interdependent, interconnected, and cannot be our best selves without each other.

You heard some aspects today’s message in the Bible passages Martha read:

Encourage one another

Admonish and support one another

Become servants of one another

In a spirit of gentleness, restore one another to right relationship with each other and with the community

Test your own work and carry your part of the communal load

The basic point I want to convey is that we need each other’s encouragement, support, and accountability. As the scripture says, we need to build up each other and, in doing that, we build up the sort of community in which we can all be lifted together. Part of that is about celebrating each other’s accomplishments and victories, no matter how small or partial. It is about encouraging each other to stretch beyond what we believe we are capable of, to face things we are afraid of, or help each other find the courage within ourselves to take risks we would not normally take on our own.

On the other hand, we are called to gently hold one another accountable in a spirit of love, with plenty of mutual grace, patience, and forgiveness. Through this mutual accountability, we each have the chance to grow individually and we become a stronger community. Of course, this process is not always straightforward or painless. Sometimes it means speaking the truth in love to someone who has offended you or not lived up to their commitments. It can mean helping someone admit they have a problem and need help and then aiding them in finding the resources they need. God calls us to always approach conversations or problems in a spirit of love and avoiding harsh judgment.

In the best of circumstances this can be risky. We risk offending or even hurting one another. COTV is a very diverse community on many levels. Our diversity of cultures, backgrounds, and experiences, means we will inevitably have collisions, rough edges, misreadings, and misunderstandings.

In my 18 years as a pastor, I have had many occasions to reach out in love to someone who is struggling or to encourage someone who is not seeing their own gifts and potential. Often, that has succeeded beyond what I imagined. Yet, there have been many times that I have failed to try because I was afraid of damaging an already difficult relationship or felt at a loss as to how to help.

When we engage in this risky work of building up each other, it is so important that we are conscious of our own imperfections, struggles, lack of courage, and what Jesus called “the log in our own eye” as much as the one we see in our neighbor’s eye. Also, as much as I may be upset by how someone else is acting, I try to remember and trust that God is at work in that person’s life, as well as in mine. God is at work in our community as a whole – beckoning us, individually and collectively, toward our common good and common thriving.

If you seek to hold someone accountable, hopefully, it is because you love that person enough to risk offending them. That takes courage, especially when there is resistance or denial. And, on all sides, we need grace and forgiveness to resist our impulses to become annoyed, angry, or to lash out. At the root of encouragement, accountability, grace, and forgiveness…is love.

Even with the best of intentions, our efforts are not always perceived the way we hope. I can recall more than one occasion in which I tried to hold someone accountable and it led to a rift in our relationship. Sometimes the person left the congregation for a time or even permanently. I still feel the pain of some of those failed attempts to help.

Of course, this goes beyond the actions of pastors toward members of the congregation or of the church lay leaders toward other members. This is about all of us encouraging one another, learning from one another, and growing together. Together in community and under the invitation and inspiration of God, all of us have the responsibility and the privilege of mutually contributing to each other’s growth and thriving. Perhaps it is some comfort that we all do this work quite imperfectly.

In the Church of the Village, I think we do pretty well at making people feel welcome and valued for who they are. We help people feel like the Church of the Village is a chosen family and the sort of community in which they feel like they can belong. What we do somewhat less well is more broadly and consistently providing encouragement, support, and accountability to one another.

Yet, a powerful example of our community coming together in such an effort was the love with which we surrounded our member, Adela Quiñones. She had a beautiful spirit and stunning smile. In 2017, Adela was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Though many of us encouraged her to receive the chemotherapy recommended by her oncologist, she refused and tried to pursue homeopathic remedies instead. Sadly, they did not work and she ended up in the hospital quite weak and without any treatment options left. Her chosen family of the church rallied around her and organized a nearly round-the-clock loving presence for the last two weeks of her life so she would not be alone in the hospital at the end.

Our community continues to help many members in less obvious and public ways. The Ministers of Care provide a loving, caring visitation and listening ministry. The Roots groups and other small groups offer a chance to build relationships and friendships and a place to become integrated into the community. And, informally and organically, I frequently witness active members and supporters continually reaching out to support, encourage, and hold one another accountable.

This is how it is supposed to go. Aligned with Africa’s gift to the world, we strive to follow in the way of Jesus and the way of Methodists for centuries – seeing our lives as integrally bound up with one another. When one suffers, we all suffer. When one experiences growth or joy, we all celebrate. We build up each other with patience, grace, and forgiveness. Let us hope, pray, and act to find ever more creative and loving ways to practice the art of living together. I think Jesus would say, “Herein lies salvation. In this communal striving you will experience the kin-dom of God among you.” May it be so.

Copyright (c) 2023 - Rev. Jeff Wells
All rights reserved.