When in Doubt, Don’t!

February 13, 2022 • 6th Sunday after Epiphany
Scripture Reading: Psalm 1 (The Inclusive Bible)
Pastor Alexis Lillie

[You can view the worship video recording at: Facebook.com/churchofthevillage/videos.]

This week my therapist told me to practice talking more slowly. I’ve long known this is a problem! And I try to be even more aware of this when I preach so hopefully I'm usually fairly coherent! But in conversation, especially if I'm passionate about something – or excited, frustrated, or over-stimulated – my words trip over themselves. 

I share this because this quickness is a theme in my life. I've talked before about my love of to-do lists, and my tendency to tackle a problem, make a plan, charge ahead. So much so that it’s become a part of my identity; my friends call it "alexising" something! 

Is this inherently a bad thing? I don’t think so. But it's a default for me, a reaction. A reaction that, yes, is usually interpreted by our linear, results-oriented capitalist society as a good thing. But it's a reaction none the less. One thing I've been learning in my life lately is I don't like living from a place of reactivity, whatever form that reactivity takes. 

Which is why I love this Psalm, why I love this tree! Trees are captivating to me, they’re kind of what I aspire to be in human form: that presence, solidity, and rootedness. 

I’m less concerned for the purposes of this sermon about the parts of the passage that talk about what it means to "walk, or stand, or sit" with certain types of people. And I’m more concerned that the point is, the tree is doing none of these things!!

This is what the person is like, who does not "walk or stand or sit" under certain circumstances. Instead, they are meditative, they are delighting in the "law of the lord" and that leads them to this place of solidity, steadiness, rootedness, peace.

So what is this law of the lord if that's what helps lead us into this posture? My tendency is to think of "the law" as external, and not only external, but also something that is imposed. Things that are rules and regulations, dos and don'ts, instructions that don't lead to flourishing and can actually lead to the opposite – to shame, or not feeling good enough 

We're told that the person who meditates on the law of the lord is flourishing, is like a tree ... and what is the tree doing? As we just noticed, it's doing nothing, and that's the point!

The tree is just BEING. It is accessing its own strength, its own power, its own light. In fact, it is not letting anything be imposed on it! The tree is existing where it is and letting that be enough. So perhaps, meditating on "the law" is like the tree, is being rooted internally in the light of our own selves. 

The meditative work of letting our inner light be enough is a challenge. To get past our defaults is a challenge. For example, it’s difficult for me when I want to respond to an email to get it off my plate; when I want to compromise on something I don't really want to give in on just so I can move things forward; when I try to distract myself with busyness because I'm afraid of sitting in stillness. 

Channeling this rooted, illuminated presence of the tree by still waters sometimes means waiting and resisting reactivity and our go-tos for coping. The title from the sermon is a maxim from AA that Jorge offered in our planning meeting for this service: When in doubt, don’t! 

I think this is another way of inviting us into self-contemplation instead of reaction. It’s saying whatever your first impulse is ... DON'T. Now, it's not saying, don't do that thing ever, or don't listen to your instincts, or don't move forward on something. But rather, let your action arise from a place of reflection. 

Our first response is often our default, our go-to move that may arise from certain constructs or constraints – things that we learn to do because they serve a purpose! Perhaps we respond out of a need for self-protection. From a need to be perceived in a certain way (this is how I feel when I'm "alexis-ing" something!). From a desire to function well within the system (this is where my quick email response time comes from!). 

Waiting for the light within allows something different to arise, something beyond our defaults

Then, like the tree in our Psalm, we may find that this is where fruitfulness and prosperity flourish. In this new way of being. I think it's important to be clear here, though: this is a psalm, it's poetic, metaphorical. It’s not prescriptive, it’s not saying, if you do this, then this will happen. It’s not a transactional, prosperity-gospel promise. 

Rather, it is casting a poetic vision of continued growth that can develop when we stop only walking, or standing, or sitting or doing our go-to defaults ... and ease into the peace that comes when we embrace our "being-ness."

There's another thing that I think is important to name: waiting -- taking the time to not react -- can feel like a privilege. For communities that exist under oppression, resisting and advocating and acting are urgent. Simultaneously, groups that hold power aren't typically known for their ability to pause and consider the core of their being as their true compass. And I still think that reactivity to these realities can have negative consequences. 

So in understanding this a little more deeply, it’s key to note that there are many types of waiting. The type we're talking about today is not passive - it is a purposeful waiting. It is intentionally sitting with yourself peacefully "by the stream," in a moment when you might otherwise be pulled into a default behavior. This practice gives us an opportunity to see what other illumination may arise. And then, to take action, if need be, from that place. 

So my prayer for us today is that we are able to channel the wisdom, again, of nature - of the tree in Psalm 1. To release our defaults that are often so tightly-held, and to relax into the peace of our inner illumination. Then from there, may our action may be meditative, and fruitful, and prosperous. 

AMEN.

(c) 2022 Alexis Lillie
All rights reserved.