Ubuntu: living together in love

October 15 , 2023 • Twentieth Sunday after Pentecost
Readings: John 13:34-35, 15:9-15 and Colossians 3:5-18 (The Inclusive Bible)
Pastor Jeff Wells

[You can view the full worship video recording at:
https://youtu.be/-OcmWpmuwSo]

Our current worship series is titled, “Ubuntu: The Art of Living Together.” Ubuntu is a traditional principle of human life and social organization found across southern Africa. It can be roughly translated as “a person is a person through other persons” or simply, “I am because we are.” In this philosophy, the idea of a solitary human being is a contradiction in terms. It runs counter to the Western, and especially American, concept of “rugged individualism” and the equally harmful idea of “pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps,” which Pastor Alexis talked about last Sunday. Process-relational theology aligns very well with Ubuntu in its assertion that we are all fundamentally and deeply connected with one another as well as with God.

Ubuntu and process theology both point to the basic truth that there is no existence for human beings outside of interdependent community. Yet, communities, large and small, function along a spectrum from very dysfunctional to quite healthy. So, the question for us is not how do we live together, but how do we live together well? I believe that love has to be our foundation. But what does it mean to live together in love? What does that require of us? So, let’s explore a bit more the wisdom handed down to us from Jesus and early Christian communities. Also, I will share some lessons I have garnered from my own experience. And after worship, I hope you will join us for a community conversation to discuss your thoughts and questions.

We just heard some key passages from the Gospel of John, but all four of the New Testament Gospels – Mark, Matthew, Luke, and John – make clear how much Jesus highlighted and emphasized love. And Jesus didn’t just talk about or teach about love, he demonstrated love in action. Right before the passages Jennifer read from the Gospel of John, Jesus got down on his knees and washed the feet of his disciples to show them that humbly serving others is one way that love gets expressed.

His “love in action” went well beyond his closest followers and beyond the Jewish community. He ignored accepted social norms and crossed cultural and religious boundaries to reach out to the sick, the oppressed, the marginalized, the foreigner, and the outcast – offering extravagant compassion, prayer, a healing touch, and countercultural teaching. His intent was always to build loving relationships and loving community and to teach others to follow that same way of being in the world.

We heard Jesus say to his followers, “Love one another the way I have loved you. This is how all will know that you’re my disciples: that you truly love one another.” Love was the solid rock on which Jesus built the community of disciples and fundamentally love that he taught to much larger audiences throughout his ministry.

Jesus went on to say this:

“As my Abba God has loved me, so have I loved you. Live on in my love. And you will live on in my love if you keep my commandments, just as I live on in Abba God’s love and have kept God’s commandments.”

I wonder if you flinch at Jesus’ use of the word “commandments” as I do. Surely, love can’t be “commanded.” That is not really Jesus’ intent here. The word in ancient Greek that is usually translated as “commandments” is entolas. The meaning of entolas is closer to “instruction” or “teaching.” So, Jesus likely meant something closer to this: “You will show your love for me if you follow the things I have taught you and the examples I have given to you.” And when we think about God’s commandments, I think we can go even beyond the literal definition of entolas and say call them God’s desire and invitations – because we are really talking about God inviting us into a way of life characterized by mutual love, justice, and flourishing.

In the late 1990s, I found my way back to spirituality after a 20-year absence. That came about, in part, through studying community building and getting involved with an organization that was putting that into practice. I got even more intimate lessons when I was a member of Christ Church United Methodist in Manhattan for several years. That congregation was very grounded in community building practices.

Then, in 2005, right out of seminary, I was appointed pastor of Community United Methodist Church in Massapequa, Long Island. There was a lot of conflict hidden just under the surface in that congregation. The church was overwhelmingly white, but diverse and divided politically and theologically. And it was conflict avoidant, so they didn’t talk much about their differences. Over the course of several years, we worked through much of that, including doing education around how to engage conflict in healthy ways. In the last two years of my time there, the congregation took part in a lengthy process of considering whether to become a church that fully welcomed LGBTQ persons. Initially, there was strong and vocal opposition. We had many months of church-wide forums and educational events – including bringing back as featured speakers young adults who had grown up in that church and were now “out of the closet.” We spent much time discussing it in the Church Council. I preached and led bible studies on it. We brought in pastors from outside of the congregation to facilitate multiple groups of 10-12 members who were all given the opportunity to speak from their own perspective and experience. Everyone in the congregation who wanted to participate got the chance to be heard. Ultimately, an overwhelming majority of the congregation supported the new Welcoming Statement. In the end, only a very few members left the church. And many others, who were uncomfortable or opposed to the move, remained active in the congregation. And, yes, throughout my time at CUMC, we emphasized agape love as the foundation of our striving to be a healthy community.

The passage from the Letter to the Colossians was then and still is an important source of inspiration and strength for me in promoting and participating in loving community. The author makes clear that the love we are talking about is not just a feeling – it is about specific behaviors and practices that put our love into action:

“Clothe yourselves with heartfelt compassion, with kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive whatever grievances you have against one another. Above all else, put on love.”

These behaviors are intentional, chosen practices that often precede feelings of love and help lead us to such feelings.

Of course, none of this means we are always going to agree or that we will be consistently and perfectly loving. That’s precisely why it is so important to bear with one another, forgive one another, and extend grace to one another. In order to learn how to celebrate our different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives, it is crucial for us to sit at one another’s tables – physically and metaphorically – to listen at least as much as we speak and to learn from each other and grow together in agape love.

I and many others have intentionally practiced such agape behaviors at the level of our New York Annual Conference. To be clear, this is a very imperfect organizational body and I personally have practiced this imperfectly. Yet, over the years, especially among the clergy, I have sensed a widespread and deep desire to build deeper connections and loving community. It’s an intermittent community, since the clergy only gather as a group two or three times a year, but it is a community nonetheless.

I and others have made it a point during meals at clergy gatherings or at Annual Conference sessions to sit at lunch tables at which the folks gathered have differing backgrounds, experiences, and challenges. Also, over the years, I have participated in many golf outings with Korean and Korean-American clergy colleagues. In these and other ways, I have tried to build community and formed many very warm and close relationships. In the process, I have had the chance to learn so much about their journeys and share about mine.

This week, I attended a clergy convocation on Tuesday and Wednesday. On Wednesday morning, I decided to see who among my colleagues might be interested in participating in a discussion group around process-relational theology. I made up a small poster and a sign-up sheet and sat at a table close to the door where people would see me when they came in for breakfast. I got a few signers by the end of the meal and a few more by lunchtime. For the afternoon session, I sat at a table with about 10 people, where I was the only person who was not Korean or Korean-American. I realize there are situations in which this might feel intrusive. It did mean that during our group discussions, they had to speak mostly in English, whereas they probably would have communicated primarily in Korean if I were not there. I am very grateful for them bearing with me in love, as Colossian suggests.

I believe that to achieve healthy loving community, we often have to make ourselves uncomfortable, take the risk of entering the unknown and of making mistakes in order to overcome social barriers. By the way, everyone at the table and a few others agreed to be on the mailing list for the process theology group. I knew that many of the younger Korean and Korean-American clergy attended Drew Theological School, but had no sense of how many had studied process theology there with our friend, Catherine Keller. By the end of that day, I had sixteen signers and a couple others who had expressed interest – far exceeding my expectations. Two of them told me they regularly follow Church of the Village worship online and one subscribes to our newsletter. But this was not just about their interest in process theology. This outcome was made possible, in large part, because of the love and trust we had built with each other. The most moving part of the day for me came at the end of the session, when another large group of Korean and Korean-American clergy came over to our table to have a group photo taken. When I realized what they were doing, I stepped out of the frame of the photo, but the photographer – a friend of mine – waved at me and said, “Get back in, Jeff! You’re adopted.”

I see this crossing boundaries and sitting at each other’s tables frequently in the Church of the Village. In our community, I would highlight the Roots Groups, our conversations on Sundays around tables and in Zoom breakout rooms, our new young adult group, and our ongoing anti-racism initiative as just a few examples of intentional behaviors and practices through which we seek to foster deep and healthy community. In these and many other ways, we have tried to promote opportunities for each of our voices and experiences to be heard and for us to grow together in love.

Jesus said, “Love one another as I have loved you. This is how everyone will know that you walk in the way I practiced myself.” The loving community we strive to build together in the Church of the Village really matters. The world needs more examples like ours of people from diverse backgrounds and experiences coming together and learning to practice compassion, forgiveness, and self-giving agape love in action. As we have experienced, it is a way of being that attracts others. And we never know who might be watching and receiving inspiration through what we do.

Copyright (c) 2023 - Rev. Jeff Wells
All rights reserved.